The Question Pops Up Again, WHO IS SPIDERMAN?

You want some clues as to my identity? OK, through the years there have been many actually, for those paying attention and making mental notes they could actually have a very good picture, the problem is deciphering what is real from what is deception.

For example, it is a fact that I am a Male, there is no disputing that… Or is there? humm… Anyway, let’s just make that one a fact.

It is also a fact that I am well versed in Florida wrestling lore, with a command of names and dates exhibited by few others… Or am I? Maybe I just have better resources and informants that fill in the blanks when I am in need.

It is a fact that I am at all the big events like G.M.A.C. , Districts, Regionals, and State… Really? That is a fact??? Maybe I just have so many great informants that I can assemble all the information they send me into such a coherent display that it’s as if I were there whether I was there or not.

It is a fact that I love Fishing, Traveling, Sports, teams generally in the south, History, Language, this country, our Constitution, Benjamin Franklin, great quotations, and Pop Tarts.

If I told you who I was your likely reaction would be Awwwww Helllll NAWWWWWW…

There is nothing worse than knowing how a magic trick works, or learning that there really is no Santa Clause, or coming to grips with the fact that the Great and Powerful OZ (or in this case Spidey) is just a feeble old man behind a curtain.

The day I am discovered I will cease to exist?

Someday I will be revealed, but does it have to be today?

Doomonic Rant

Ethics and Honor can only get you so far this is my spin on these GOOD FELLAS.....Mafia Ring Leaders

"Guito Huskatoni"- The Godfather of Wrestling. Oldest and most dangerous crime boss in the south. This wise guy has been known to leave a dead horse's head in the bed of an official when he feels he has been wronged. Knows the inner workings of the system and practically has every important figure in his pocket.Husktoni is connected to some of the most ruthless sh*t that has ever happened in this town. Crimes include; recruiting, falsifying finnacial aid documents, impersonating a priest and gender/race altering. His last whereabouts was Stir Crazy.

"Rocco Vito Balmaseda"- The Lil Don is part of the upstart youth movement to take down the Godfather. Known for a temper that matches his stature this little Pizone' has been linked to several recent burglaries where he and his mafia have snatched valuable members of other mafias and have forced them to join their crime family. He like Huskatoni is connected and seems to be untouchable by the law. Last whereabouts was leaving the Biscayne building where the atrec comittee met. He was also seen with a fist full of hundreds and naked pictures of some older blonde lady.

"Renzo Osorio"- Slowly but surely this little crime boss has worked his way up the ladder and made a name for himself as one of the most ruthless Mafia leaders in town. Leader of the Americano family Renzo has proven that you don't have to be made or connected to be successful in this ugly business. Has been known to kill off members of his own family before big events just to prove that he could win without them. Crimes include Grand larceny from Goleman and Krop HS and pimp slapping a princpal and trepassing in the lakeland center.

"Liam McSoderholm"- This once powerful crime boss grew up in the trailer parks of Dublin and came over to this county and ran some shit for a while. Crime boss turned informant, McSoderholm is one of the most dangerous man in the county. He too must have some naked pictures of someone important for him to get away with the crimes he has commited. His crimes include assault with a deadly hot dog, narking, snitching and throwing rocks while living in a glass house.

"Rocky Pardoa"- Leader of the Cobra cartel this once feared mammoth of a man rose up through the ranks as a hitman. Using his size and martial arts back ground Pardoa intimidates weaker men to change their minds and their calls. Some people believe that Rocky Pardoa may infact be the alias for one of the most sought after criminals of all times. His crimes include; impersonating an offical, illegal alien smuggling and impersonating a superhero.

"Mikail Turnakov"- This crime boss of the Russian Mafia literally made millions from his family's prophalatic company and you would think that this would deter him from a life of crime. Easily recognized in the sunshine state by his pastey white skin, pale blue eyes and torret-like mannerisms, Makail has an uncontrollable obsession with latina women. Ironically enough his lust for these women spawned half of his crime family and was the reason for most of his success in the crime world. Always followed closely by his enforcer Boris Bogdan the two of them could be seen often ranting and raving about how they got screwed. These two together form a lethal mix of testosterone, vodka and anger control issues. Crimes include; Impersonating a soccer daddy, DUI, assualt and battery on an official and womenizing. Last seen leaving Tootsies in a pair of silky jogging pants and with no underwear.

"Joelangelo Mendeciano"- Don't be fooled by his quiet demeanor Joelangelo used to be one of the most tricky and devious crime bosses in the south. About 10 years ago he and his partner Guiseppe Gonzalo were two of the most ruthless and undermining wise guys in town. During the 90's there were many neighborhood turf wars for up and coming hitmen, many of which Joelangelo and Guiseppe landed. Their crime family was very strong and prospering but Guiseppe had a buisness on the side and was taken down in a sting by some crooked cops and the crime family hasn't been the same since. Remarkable Guiseppe's incarceration did wonders for Joelangelo's reputation who is now viewed as an ethical and honorable buisness man. But don't be foolish, like the magic city we live in his business was built with dirty money.

"Sal Tejaducchi and Sergio Valenti"- These two wise guys are often over looked and usually fly quietly under the radar. But one should never judge a book by it's cover, these two bite size wise guys pack a punch. Together these two little canolies have built up quite a crime family that should be feared. Given the fact that neither one of these guys went to college to officially become a true crime boss they somehow have earned the respect from the other Don's and Mafia leaders. With the addition of irish mobster Kevin Whalinagan the family's future should be prosperous. Their crimes include; two counts of starvation of a minor, deferring in the 2nd period to a known cradlist and lack of scouting.

"Father Moises Riviera"- In a town riddled with gangsters, wise guys and mafiosos there is always that priest and Father Moises is that guy. His parents must have known how he would turn out naming him "Moises" and all. This saintly man's sweat is the main ingredient in the cleaning product Windex, that's how damn squeaky clean he is. A man whose farts smell like potpourri and sound like an angel playing the harp, Father Moises is the modern day Elliot Ness in a city full of corruption. A man soooo good and pure the Pope himself wears Moises Pajamas. His crimes include; leaving the toilet seat up and driving too slowly in traffic. Last seen in Galviston, Texas saving drowning puppies and kittens.


"Angelo Chef Boy Vazquelinni"- This jolly heap of a man has been in the Mafia business for a while but can never seem to get out of his own damn way. Like a giant mole on the ass of mediocrity he plunders away trying to gain the respect of his peers and build his family. Only considered a crime boss because of his longevity and dedication to the business this man is one ravioli away from cardiac arrest. Angelo had "High" hopes about business this year but was blown away when he heard winter had come early. His crimes include; Sleeping in public, impersonating a coach and staying too long at a chinese buffet. Last seen busting through walls dressed as a giant pitcher of Koolaid.

"A-Ron Philly Harris"-Known to his peeps as "Philly' this upstart tru-gangsta is someone to keep an eye on. Born and raised in the mean streets of Philadelphia "Lil Philly" left his home turf because of some squablin that couldn't get squashed and now resides in the (305). Don't be fooled by his mild mannerness 'Lil Philly has be known to pimp slap a brother or two just for stepping on his new kicks. Highly educated but extremely dangerous Lil Philly is often heard humming the words to Tu-Pac's song "Just me and My Girlfriend". Philly could be identified by several tattoos; one over his belly that reads "Thug Lyfe", two tear drops on his left check under his eye and he is often seen wearing a blue bandana hanging out of his back pocket. Last seen in Lil Wayne's rap video "Millionaire" pouring a 40 on the ground for his dead homies. His crimes include; impersonating a barber and showing up late to gang fights.

"Milo Manolo Condana"- Gang leader of the street gang "Latin Kings" Milo's family defected here from Cuba during the Mariel boat lift. Born into a life of crime Milo could be seen often wearing camaflouge and shooting gang signs to his gang members. Milo is very soft spoken but when crossed can become violent and very aggressive. He is often heard yelling from his corner "what are you doing" and seen grasping his head in disgust at his gang members lack of fighting skills. His last whereabouts was at an MMA school getting choked out by some guy named Triago. He has been linked to a crime that happened many years ago when his seemingly invicible fighter appeared to throw a match against a smaller weaker opponent.

"Gonzalo Stingaree Blanco"- Legend has it that he and his brother are the sons of Griselda Blanco so evil is in their blood line. This little soft spoken Venezualian is the gang leader of the infamous gang "INP" or International Posse. He, his brother and his crew run **** in the weaker parts of town, north of flagler including little havanna. The other crime families are well aware of his existence and are watching closely as he slowly and methodically builds his gang into what soon could be a true Mafia. Some people believe that he and most of his gang are illegally in this country so "La Migra" could take them down before the other crime bosses have to. Last seen leaving the night club La Covacha with his shirt wide open, tons of gold chains, a white belt and wearing white espadrilles.

More to come soon.....

DR DOOM

New To The Blog? Here Are Some Tips

Some of you are new and others are not, either way here are a few pointers on Blog use. I am glad to see that many of you are now using Aliases as well as in some cases avatars; still some of you have not moved into 21 Cent Tech, and you continue to post unregistered.

Here are a few things you need to know to make life easier and also more fun on the Blog.

Registration with Google is quick, easy completely confidential and free.

The main reason to do it is to have continuity with subject and identity of the posters.

Why add yourself to the list of Blog followers? Just because it’s cool to see how many of us read and use this thing.

I don’t make any money doing this, it makes no difference if you register or add yourself to the list of followers only that it makes for a better experience for everyone involved.

You can register any e-mail account, it does not have to be G-mail, and Google keeps all your information confidential. The only way for someone to know who you are is if you select “SHARE MY PERSONAL INFORMATION”

Once you register, go on the internet and find a picture you’d like to use as your avatar, right click on the picture, highlight and copy the URL address then paste it on the profile section of the Blog.

If you need help feel free to ask, and if you want me to sugest a good avatar, I can do that as well.

I hope more of you register and get your avatars going.

Good luck!

Spidey

New Poll Opens

OK it’s time to see what the general consensus is as it pertains to the allegations that have been leveled towards SD. I am not saying this, that, or the other about it, but I do want to get the impressions of the general public. So make your voice heard and vote on what perception you have on what is going on.

The Polls close and the results are in.

I believe the way the polls closed clearly reflects the level of respect for the top 5 most honorable and ethical coaches, furthermore, I believe it is very accurate representative of was is actual and verifiable.

Mike Turner (HML) – Not only does he run one of, if not the cleanest, program in the state, he wins or loses with what belongs to him. He is a man of high integrity and superior moral fiber when it comes to how he runs his ship. It is not hard to see that he easily outdistanced most coaches on the poll and is the most highly recognized figure of Ethical and Honorable behavior. No skeletons to speak of.

Moises Rivera (SUN) – Not too far behind Turner in the polls, and just as (if not more) committed to doing the right thing. Even though Rivera has been hurt quite frequently in the past by the pilfering of some of his top wrestlers, he has refused to take the same short cuts to get ahead himself. Rivera is unphased by the allure of the Dark side; it’s obvious that his principles as an honorable man mean more to him than any state title. No skeletons to speak of.

Tejada (BRD) - Not in the same league as Rivera and turner, but still clean enough to be well thought of and well respected by the wrestling community. If he has gotten any wrestlers tat Braddock that did not belong to him (The Chandlers) everything was obviously done above board and thorough. There have been rumors in the past that some of sunset’s and Varela’s finest were turning up at Braddock, but that is obviously not enough to dissuade the positive opinion Tejada has earned. Skeletons include the Chandlers, the Perez brothers, and maybe one or two others I can not readily remember.

Gonzalez (MIA) - A bright new star on the wrestling front. I think he would have gotten more votes if he were better known. I have heard rumors that one or two that have wrestled for him belonged elsewhere, and there might be one on the team right now, but I don’t know the program well enough to state specifics. Still, his quick rise into the top 10 along with his the respect level he is receiving for his ethical behavior is to be commended. Skeletons… I could not name any.

Mendez (SW) – Right there with Tejada and Gonzalez in regards to the consensus. Though back in the day when he started out as a junior high coach he was not seen in the same light. Since his arrival at South West however, he has maintained a well balanced and above board program. He has had a few wrestlers represent him that were not of his area, but again all matters were taken care of above board and through the proper channels. Skeletons include, Yandi Gonzalez, the Castro brothers, and the DeArmas brothers.

La Cosanostra En El Condado

The story is an old one, and yet common to the many immigrant families that form the factions that rule this city. The mafia families used their superior organizational abilities to connect themselves with well placed corrupted officials to make themselves and their families prosper while the rest are left to wrestle for the scraps. These Familias realize their gluttonous desires through intimidation, deceit, and when necessary violence.

The Mob bosses in Dade had an understanding amongst themselves, the territories were divided and the boundaries were set, yet every so many year there was a turf war to claim new powers that could affect the long term ability of one family to rule over the rest. Dade County has been divided into three parts over the past several years. Guito “The “God Father” Huskatoni had been around since the Neanderthals roamed the earth and once ruled the southern lands. More recently however he had been deposed by some law men that could not be turned and he was forced to move his operations to the central zone. He took well to this section of the city, and with help from the Vatican’s minions he ruled the central part of the county with an iron fist. Still, his power was not what it once was; he had grown more careless with his actions and was losing that Teflon that had been his shield for nearly forty years. His connections and supporters are mostly deceased and have gone the way of the dodo. In his desperation he has hired lower level hit men like Allensworth Pinis and Mathaglio Nocco. A bold move by an ancient boss who’s time seems to be running out. His last stand with his family is now set and the stage for an open turf war with the new Don of the county Rocco Vito Balmaseda is looming.

Rocco Vito “Little Napoleon” Balmaseda countered Huskatoni’s bold moves by scouring the city for some of the most ruthless hit men ever to be seen in these parts. The first one he went after was a young but brash hit man named ScHall; ScHall had made a name for himself recently when he killed a Mexican hitman in lakeland who was trying to take the spot of baddest hitman in the land. It was a battle that was not easily settled, and just when it looked like the Mexican had the upper hand, ScHall turned the tables and slit the other mans throat as he threw him to his back. This new hitman and his diminutive stature were now under Contract and loyalties were pledged to Vito’s familia. Vito or “Vit” as his friends call him has gone about searching for as many ruthless hitmen as he can find to assure his position for the foreseeable future. He has also acquired the services of a little known hit man who goes by the name Julius Eddwinis; this Bronco sized hit man is now in position to transform himself into a feared hit man as he learns from some of the best hit men that already work for Vit. Lesser known hit men have also been added to this family in preparations for the coming turf war. Vit longs to completely eliminate the Huskatoni family and remove all record of their existence. One of Vit’s closest allies, Nosti Marona has pledged his son Issac Marona and his adopted son Robert the Red to vit’s familia. These Fresh new hitmen were in training at an academy a little further north, but were well trained and will reinforce and already formidable organization. An Asian assassin from the land of eternal ‘Sunsets’ has also been called in just to assure a victory in the battle. With the DA and Police Chief in his back pocket no one dares to even sniff into Vit’s family business because they know that one word misspoken would immediately get back to Vit and all hell would break loose. With a twist of his finger or a scowl on his face this ruthless mob boss will send his cronies in the DA’s office to subdue anyone interfering in his business.

The third mob boss Renzo “The Walrus”Osorio watches from a distance as his enemies make their moves. He seeks to be the one to complete this deadly triangle, and in a bold and unexpected move he plans a move that will cripple his opposition and allow him to move in and be the New boss of the three territories. A different scheme is his however, he relies on help from the Voodoo gods of the old country, as he patiently waits and watches the coming storm and knows that soon his scheming wheels turning in his bald cranium will set into motion the plan to throw the other families into complete upheaval. Renzo already feels he has all the hitmen he needs to take over as the new boss so long as he is able to take out a few of the others families hitmen along the way. Through subterfuge, well placed spies, an assassination or two, and a secret alliance, The Walrus plans to subvert the power for himself and his family as the top Mob boss in Dade.

Stay tuned and see how it all plays out

Imposter!

I just had time today to go over and look to see what you were talking about with the imposter on the other site; which by the way I was shocked that there is still another site up and running, but that's another story.

Anyway, he calls himself "oneandonlyspiderman" which is OK with me, but he is obviously not me.

Here is his post,

Topic: transfers and troublemakers

Earl Hall is now at South Dade.
Carlos Montero out of gables up in Tampa.
Allen Pena kicked out of Columbus now he is back.
Couple of state qualifiers from Doral Academy now at South Dade.
Sunset wrestler to South Dade.

Now, for those of you keeping score, that is obviously not me. Here are a few of the investigative tools I would apply were I trying to confirm that I was me.

First of all,

Have I ever spoken in anything but complete sentences? NO!

The word Gables is not capitalized, “gables” this is not a mistake I would likely make.

Allen Pena is actually spelled Alan Pena although I have a sneaking suspicion that there is a squiggly line above that “n” which would make it Peña, and how many out there really know how to bring that letter into play..

Very little detail, very little in the way of quantifying his comments, and very little pertinent oratory on the topic at large.

No, if I were investigating this topic to determine whether or not this poster was Spiderman, I would say that “No” this is surely an imposter, and not a very good imposter at that.

Of course, if it were me I would surely know how to fake like it was just an imposter and then I’d come on here with some in depth examination of how it could not be me and you’d all be fooled and convinced that it was not me. LOL!!!

In any case, it’s not me over there, I don’t waste my time on that site, I left there some time ago and promised not to return and I have kept my word.

One more thing, take a look at the list of those members that are signed on to the FKu website, you will often see my name on there because although I don’t post on that site, it is still my main source of passing along and receiving information.

Iamspiderman is the only alias I have on that site and I only use it to communicate privately, of course if I had developed a new Spiderman alias I would say “Iamspiderman is the only alias I have on that site and I only use it to communicate privately.”

New Poll Opens

Who do you think are the most

Ethical and Honorable

coaches in Dade County?

This should be interesting.

Don't forget to cast your vote, the poll ends next Wednesday.

All's Quiet... Too Quiet If You Ask Me

Things have gone very quiet all of a sudden, what gives, I mean I know there isn’t really much to talk about, but even the private email has gone dead. Kind of reminds me of the old days when a Russian premier died and the Russian radio stations all played somber music for a couple of days before official word came that the Leader was dead. Also similar to the way terror cells go quiet just before an attack; if I were the inferring type this silence would lead me to believe that something is up.

Ever heard the expression “this silence is deafening”

OUCH! Big news out soon I imagine.

New Feature

You’ll notice I have a new feature on the right of the Blog just under the archives section, it allows my readers to acknowledge that they are affiliates of the Spiders Lair. All you have to do is click on where it says “FOLLOW THIS BLOG” and it will give you some options to include a picture of your self (avatar) or to follow as anonymous.

I Hope you like this new feature, and I hope to get some polls started soon, so if any of you have any good ideas for a poll, send them along and I will post it on the site and give you credit as originator.

I Guess My Site Is Popular

All I can say is WOW!!!

I appreciate so many of you stopping by my site, I guess after the long summer many of you were thirsty for some REAL information, some REAL commentary, and some REAL laughter. Well you have come to the right place and we would appreciate more of you taking part and freely expressing your opinions within the boundaries of good taste.

I had not checked my analytics page to see what the readership was like, and much to my surprise it has been through the roof. Even in the summer when the site was dead there were 30 to 40 of you checking in regularly to see if anything new had been posted, but once the word got out that the Lair was once again active, we have seen an explosion of activity. Our first week back we were hovering around 60 to 70 readers, the following week we broke 120, and yesterday we nearly hit 200 readers.

Thanks again, we appreciate the following.

Taking On The Establishment

One of the hardest things to do in history is to fight the establishment. Standing up against the establishment historically has been a recipe for sanction, ridicule, defamation, retaliation, and in some cases even physical violence and murder. I am not saying that anyone would get murdered over a confrontation with The Pirate Master and the Golden Fairy, but many of the other tactics could apply. The establishment always has the upper hand, they control the flow of information, potentially damning documents, and typically set themselves up where they could claim plausible deniability in a last ditch effort if it came to that, which it rarely does. One coach, one person, one parent, one wrestler standing against an inappropriate use of power will have a negligible effect of the establishment, in fact if they are reading any of this they are already circling the wagons for the potential attack, and in so doing crossing those last T’s and dotting those last I’s.

I can think of several reasons why a coach would not go out on the limb by himself, the people he will be facing wield a mighty hammer, and there is much more to lose in a confrontation than a wrestler, a match, or a title. A coach can (if he angers the wrong people) lose his team, his position, and his job. While losing your (teaching) job might be a little extreme, losing the position is not; many coaches are granted favor and preferable assignments because they do so much for the school with kids and with time they are scantly compensated for, but we all know $hit rolls down hill, so let me give you an example of a typical fear of the coach on his willingness to challenge the establishment.

Coach Soandso has a very good team, a team with possibilities of challenging for a title (in his estimation of course). He sees a window of opportunity VS his biggest rival and likes his chances. His rival however goes out and brings in some mercenaries; a move that completely and for all intents and purposes ends the hopes and dreams of this coach’s team to realize their championship aspiration. The coach decides to fight back against what he perceives to be a grave injustice and follows the proper protocols in doing so. They first thing he does is outline a list of grievances and any information he may have that could and should be damning to his rival. He takes this information to his advocate (which should be his athletic director) and delineates for him what this other team is doing, how they have done it, and how it negatively impacts his team and their ability to maximize their full potential. His athletic director responds, OH! I wasn’t aware of that, Periquito Perez (the AD at the school in question) is a close friend of mine, I must speak with him about this so he is not caught with his pants down. This statement completely sucks the wind out of coach Soandso’s sails and he gives in to the nepotistic and narrow view of his AD. Later he is angered by the tone of his supposed advocate and the lack of advocacy demonstrated by one who should be looking out for the interest of the student’s athletes in coach Soandso’s school. He goes over his AD’s head to the Principal who says OH! I did not know that, I am friends with the principal of the school in question; I better call her so she is not caught with her pants down. After much frustration he decides to go over the principal’s head to the director of all sports for the conference who not surprisingly tells him that the school in question has gone through all the proper procedures and the he should leave this alone. The coach involves the Newspaper and the internet, and brings forth his accusations and his proof. The feces hits the fan or so he thinks, but what really happens? The coach embarrasses the director of the Conference, however, she has a trump card, and she lays out all the information on why and how things were done and proves that she in fact was duped by the school in question. The principal of the school in question claims to have been duped by her athletic director, and the athletic director claims to have been duped by the coach, who was duped by the kids and their families. The school in question revokes the eligibility of the athletes in question and all seems well. However, behind closed doors, the director of the conference is not happy at the betrayal and contacts her friends (The Principal and athletic directors) at coach Soandso’s school and tells them that coach Soandso is a loose cannon, that he can’t be trusted and that they should rectify the situation. Coach Soandso goes on to win his title or not, but the following school year he is informed that he will not be rehired as the wrestling coach, his teaching position goes from six honors classes to five 9th grade classes out in a portable, no 6th period supplement, and 2nd period planning. He is also told he is no longer need to teach that night school weight training class, he is no longer need to work security at the football games, and he is no longer needed as the cross country coach. Meanwhile the school that was accused of wrongdoing has now had their athletes sit for a year, the coach received a slap on the wrist, the AD and principal went out and had a drink and laughed at the situation, and everything falls back into place.

If you don’t think this can happen, ask Coach Bill McDonnell, while the situation is different and the circumstances are not quite the same, many of the sanctions fit the bill.

The only way to defeat the establishment is to form a militia; get the common man and have him unite against a powerful wrong for a greater good. The disenfranchised coach, the discriminated athlete, the aggrieved parent, these must be your allies, without them you can do nothing.

I predict right here and now that nothing will come of these allegations, and the status quo will remain in place and in power.

Allegedly

Here is the news as alleged by my informants, I will leave names out of it, figure it out for yourselves.

A Cavalier was busted for distributing some white powder on Campus; word is he claimed to have an addiction, and he is currently living in exile on the west coast.

An explorer was apprehended distributing botanical herbs and was reportedly expelled for his transgressions and had moved west but unlike the Cavalier still within the county. I can only imagine that his father a former keeper of the peace must have been quite embarrassed.

A Bronco with little regard for his instructor feels that his abilities would be better served as a Buccaneer and will find a way to make his move without causing waves if possible. An influential step father will attempt to make the transition seamless, but there are whispers of a rebellion.

A Knight has betrayed his king and left to join his comrades and become a Pirate. Word is it that the Pirate master had his fairy godmother "The Golden Fairy" push the defection past the 8-track in the summer while few were paying attention.

Dade Wars episode IV "The Chosen One"

A long time ago in a county not so far away there was a land where warriors roamed. A land which like no other land was rich in wars and epic battles. Dead were the days of the Evil Spartan Empire and the land of Palmet-toia grew stale and baron. Long gone were the heroes of the past. Heroes such as Eric lightningstriker, banished for his impotent and unsuccessful battles in the land of lakes. New armies emerged from unexpected lands and new leaders gained respect and power. Much had changed in the land of DADE with only one thing remaining the same. An ever present EVIL still cloaked the land. And, for the first time rumors of “a chosen one” begin to surface and hope is still preserved.


As the season of wars creep upon the land excitement and anticipation build. Off a highly successful season of battle the Newfound Patriot Army proves how powerful and devious their new leader Not-So-Sorrio has become. Born a bastard son and raised by two lesbian witches, Not-So-Sorrio “urines “ to come to the land of Dade and participate in the epic battles. Craving for respect and attention he lacked growing up Not-So-Sorrio assembles one of the lands best armies and wages war on the other powers to be. Like a “golden shower” he washes across the land. The Braddock Federation, The Old Spartan Empire, and the Arian Army of Palmet-toia all fall victim to the Napolean-like leader. Legend has it that “as the smoke would clear after every battle Not-So-Sorrio could be seen in the center of the battle field hunching up his short stubby leg and marking his territory as if to say that this is his land now”. But shortly after his rise in power Not-So-Sorrio finds himself at some crossroads. After many exhausting battles against the Evil Darth Husktor, Not-So-Sorrio finds himself strangely attracted to Husktor. At first he thinks he may be a Homo-droid but he later learns that this strange attraction is because Darth Husktor is his father. Filled with anger and rage at the fact that Husktor, the most evil man in the galaxy was his own flesh and blood, Not-So Sorrio also feels complete. For the first time he realizes that he has a real father and he was not born from walrus sperm in a test tube like his lesbian mothers had exclaimed. This was music to the young Jedi’s ears and would also explain his uncanny Jedi-like ability to make chicken salad out of chicken ****. Some people in the land believe that he may in fact be the “CHOSEN ONE”.


Worn and battered like a fish stick from Long John Silver’s the Evil and Powerful Darth Husktor longs for the days when his army would send shivers down the spines of his enemies. When his voice would hypnotize officials and his Jedi mind tricks could influence results. Realizing that his days are numbered Darth Husktor begins to grow desperate and impatient. Although his Christian Army is formidable they are not what they seem. As they march across the county they appear to be invincible. With each victory their elders become more boisterous and arrogant. They defeat armies with glorious pasts and news spreads across the land but Husktor being the wily emperor that he is wonders if his soldiers will fold up like lawn chairs at the first sight of true battle. So his search continues for stronger, faster, darker soldiers. He travels to the Mound of Rich and the Land of Stead with little success. He sets sail across the Caribbean Sea and ventures across a Cuda of small stature floating by a reef. The Cuda is desperate for a home and although he is lacking the pigmentation that Darth Husktor desires he knows he has a spot for him in his army. His travels take him through the path of Krome to a heavily guarded village where all the villagers dress the same. As he enters between the watch towers he recognizes a familiar face, the face of a fallen Christian soldier who once was thought of as a threat. Husktor calls out “Duncan, Duncan Hines is that you”? Duncan replies, Lord Husktor pleases forgive me, for my need to bake and love for brownies is strong and I didn’t mean to harm anyone! Being the “forgiving” man that he is, Darth Husktor pays the soldier’s bounty and his Christian Army accepts him back. His army is almost complete if only he could convince one more worthy soldier to join his allegiance. So he looks to the east to where a swashbuckling swordsman has built up quite a reputation. “This is the missing piece to his puzzle” Husktor thinks to himself. Talks begin and friends are made throughout the season of peace. Wining and dining, stroking and codling, wheeling and dealing the Evil Emperor works his magic and just when he thinks he has convinced the swordsman to join his Christian army BOOM it starts to snow! Now snow is unusual when the temperature is 93 degrees but somehow on this day snow fell on the land and on Darth Husktor’s dreams of power.


Two moons away In the Land of Stead where soldiers are plentiful and victories come often a Jedi is beleaguered. You see sometimes success can lead to a Jedi’s demise if the need to succeed becomes a lust. The land had completed four rotations around the sun since the last time Balma-Solo and his army of Misfits had tasted the sweetest of victories. Jaa Daa the Hutt, a fat evil salesman with a gift of gab from another galaxy reigned as king in the Land of Lakes for the past few rotations, a land once owned by Darth Husktor and more recently by Balma-Solo. Tortured and tormented by his recent failures the Yoda sized Balma-Solo’s thirst for dominance begins to eat away at him. Night after night a dark evil voice speaks to him in his sleep. “The powers of the force are strong within you, release your anger, your jealousy and hate and your powers will become unstoppable”! Join the “Dark Side” and you and your army will rule the galaxy! Confused and befuddled Balma-Solo wishes he still had the services of K2 W2 to enlighten him on the matter and show him the ways of the force. One night while lying restless in his bed, Balma-Solo falls into a deep dark sleep. Nightmares fill his head and suddenly he is walking in a damp, dark cave. He notices a figure standing in the corner with a cloak over his head. As he walks closer to the man he sees the bottom half of the man’s wrinkled old face. He senses an “EVIL” like he has never sensed before. An “EVIL” so pure it makes Darth Husktor look like a quire boy. The man speaks and for the first time Balma-Solo is face to face with the voice that haunts him in his sleep. In an evil scratchy voice the man says “if you can’t beat them, join them”! Balma –Solo replies” what do you mean join them”? “Join the dark side, become one of them, use the powers of the force to influence, bribe and RECRUIT”! “But, once you cross to the dark side there is no returning”. Suddenly, the old decrepit man reaches out his hand and gives Balma-Solo a gift. Balma-Solo glances down at the man’s hand and is blinded by a strange audacious glare. The man hands him a small but powerful black object and exclaims “with this gift you and your army can rule the land”. Intrigued, Balma-Solo opens his hand and looks down at the object. “What is it’ he asks? The “EVIL” man replies “it is the almighty MAGNET”! And, in a spell like way he says “Like flies to a flame, from near and far the strongest of soldiers you know who they are, will come to fight the wars and pay their dues and the Land of lakes will be given to you”. Balma-Solo clinches the MAGNET tightly in his fist. As it pulsates and glows he can feel the raw power and energy it contains. Filled with an “EVIL” he has never felt before Balma-Solo shouts to the man as he begins to vanish, what is your name? In a fading evil voice the man exclaims “my name is Darth Mauler”! And, in a flash he was gone. As word spreads across the land of Balma-Solo’s demise and his crossing over to the “Dark Side” the Golden Queen of the Magic City is devastated. Cries could be heard from miles around, “No! No! You were supposed to be the CHOSEN ONE”! “I loved you like a son. You were supposed to fight against what you HATE and now you have become what you HATE! You were supposed to be the CHOSEN ONE!!!!! Night falls across the land and all is not well in the land of Dade.

Stay tuned for the next episode of Dade Wars.....

South Shade ???

I have had lots of angry e-mails asking me why I have not commented on the situation at South Dade. The truth is there lots of hearsay, and lots of finger pointing, but I have yet to confirm much.

Here are the alleged recruits, and the facts that I have been able to confirm.

Isiah Varona – Always was going to South Dade, applied to the Magnet program early last year and was accepted.

Robert Rojas - Always was going to South Dade, applied to the Magnet program early last year and was accepted.

Gabriel Mardel – Rumored to be to be on his way south but he remains at Doral Academy

Andres Montero - He left Sunset and transferred to SD and apparently has already been through the infamous 8-track (AETRAC) and has been cleared to participate.

Wilson Metellus – I don’t understand the problem with this one, he was there last year and it was not a problem, he has been cleared to participate. There is one source promising to give me game breaking information but he says he is going to hold onto it for now. I don’t know what it could be, maybe that he is an illegal alien or something, it sounds ominous to hear it told, but for now it is a non issue to me.

Earl Hall - He still attends Robert Morgan Senior High but it is rumored that he will be a Buc this year. However, that is yet to be proven since the wrestling season has not started and he is not enrolled at South Dade. If he has changed residence and now resides within SD’s boundaries I really don’t see a problem here either. A lot will be made of recruiting, but what can anyone really prove is what will matter.

Didley Weche – State champ from Pace, just another ugly rumor as confirmed to me by a source earlier today. Apparently he went to some tournament with Metellus and the word spread that he was now aboard the South Dade ship, but my source assures me he is still at Pace

Someone else tells me that another 1 or 2 kids have possibly defected from Homestead to South Dade, but did not provide any names so there is really no way to verify their speculation and it is not worth the conjecture.

So there is lots of speculation and lots of allegations, but so far no one can thrown anything out that sticks.